leap of faith v agnosticism. or is agnosticism a leap too? ‘if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.’ is belief a choice? is agnosticism cowardice or honesty? is it cowardly honesty? should i boldly go where no one has gone before?
am i burned out? can i lay this burden down? can i let this cup pass, or must i drink? if i drink, is it poison, or life everlasting, or both? or is it just a cup? metaphor aside, am i burned out? n got burned out at r, years ago, hasn’t recovered yet. says, tho, all the best jobs are volunteer; if so, i got it made….2012-09-12-0831: feeling tired and queasy; hopefully, this won’t persist thru the day. an ominous start to…
(ps–it didn’t last very long; the queasiness, that is…. but the next day i banged into a serious roadblock about going dairyless)
this sunday (2012-09-16) at 1000 on r2 or 1500 on r1 or online, ‘inside the music‘ features ‘Ghost in the Machine: Computers, music, and creativity’–this post has many video links, including this laurie anderson classic:
my son plays civ5–‘civilization 5’–so i’ve installed freeciv 2.3.1 on ubuntu 12.04. i’ll keep a journal, of course.
‘life don’t clickety-clack down a straight-line track/it comes together and it comes apart.’ (really old ferron)–some things which seem to be coming together right now (tho that will surely change): harvesting at the midland community gardens in the morning; preparing to welcome myself and others to out of the cold, season 9, at night by reading jean vanier.
one thing buddha and vanier agree on is to accept reality for what it is. even god/dess said, ‘i am what i am.’ am i not what i am? what am i? mere chemical scum? sometimes i find it hard to accept things as they are, cuz i want it to be better–i want it my way. oh well. it’s a control-issue, it’s my illusion. think i’ll pee, dress warmly, and go for a long ride….
leap of faith: i choose ignorance, i don’t the workings of god/dess or even myself; yes, agnosticism is a choice; it’s my experience, though it may not be yours. yet i choose to follow love, wherever it leads; that’s my leap. will you jump with me?